Monday, July 19, 2010

Same old dilemma, same old ME...

  I hate that I'm still stuck here. I still don't know what to do exactly or better yet, what to feel.

  I hate that I can't get you out of my mind every single day, every single hour, every single minute.

  I hate that I am always longing for you, wondering what it feels like to be with you always.

  I hate that whenever I open my eyes every morning, it's you who comes first in my fresh mind and before I close my eyes to sleep, you're always that last thought that enters my mind before drifting to dreamland.

  I hate that I can't text you as much as I want to. I just simply don't know what to say. I don't know what to type. I don't know how to start. And most especially, I don't know what you'll think.

  I hate that whenever I read travel articles on the newspapers, I instantly think of the thought of being with you in that far away place.

  I hate that whenever I open my account, it's you who I want to see - either you send me a message or just write on my wall about anything and I hate that I always fail to see one.

  I hate that whenever I hear love songs may they be happy or sad, I always think of you.

  I hate that even though I know it already, I still can't feel it.

  I hate feeling alone...

  I hate this feeling that I'm alone in this battle.

  I hate the fact that I love you so much.

  And most of all, I hate that everything seems to be IMPOSSIBLE.

 Super bitin!!! Well, honestly, I think kahit gaano pa tayo katagal magkakasama, at the end of the day, it would still feel na bitin ung bonding moments natin!!! :)

 I'm very happy to see Johnnel and Ranjel after YEARS of not seeing them!!!

 Thanks guys for everything! See you soon! :)

Sunday, July 18, 2010


   At last! After such a very looong time, me, Vinci, PRil and Dei had our long overdue reunion – to think that we just live near each other’s houses (except for Deanne)! Hahaha I actually thought that this reunion won’t push through again since when we’re about to meet up, it rained so hard and I was very hesitant to push it through since I’m scared that we might have a bad experience but thanks to Vinci’s encouraging words, we still went with our plans!

   Vinch and I were able to convince April to watch Sex and the City 2 even if she haven’t watched the Sex and the City movie! Hahaha But turns out that she had fun as much as we did! The film has a lot of funny scenes thanks to Samantha minus the sex in it! Hahaha But what made it very special to us was the fact that it made us think on how will we look like when we’re already in our 40s. We know that we’ll still be super duper close (kailangan talaga emphasized!) but it would really be fun to still be able to travel together and talk about how our lives has changed and to reminisce all of our major boo-boo’s together!!!

   I’m also very thankful to Deanne for still being able to come even if she has work till 8PM in Alabang. We ate dinner at Shakey’s while waiting for Deanne and her hubby Leo. We talked a lot about our high school days, just the normal stuff, reminisce what had happened and how stupid we were before. Honestly, this wasn’t what I thought this lakad would turn out to be. I envisioned it as one of our first “young adults gimik” where we can talk about grown-up things, catch up on each other’s lives especially Dei’s and talk about our plans for the future. We weren’t able to do so since we felt very uncomfortable talking about private stuffs in front of Leo.

  As the night ended, we are still very happy to embrace the reality that no matter what happened/happen to us, even if we haven’t been in touch for months, we know that we’ll forever be connected to one another and that we’ll always be there for each other!

   As weird as it sounds, this is the first time that we went to MOA (yung kumpleto kaming apat ha, para lang malinaw)!!! hahahaha

Ever since my childhood days, I’ve always dreamed of making my family happy using my own means. I want to treat them to some fancy restaurants, take them to malls that we’ve never been through, give them a shopping spree and all. I know my parents worked so hard for us to have the life that we have right now. Though we’re not one of the well-off families, we still feel good since we’re in the middle-income earners bracket wherein we get to choose which school we go to – no matter how much it’ll cost, we get to eat in nice restaurants, buy nice clothes and we still do experience some luxuries life has to offer every once in a while. But I just have this dream of giving back to my parents. I’ve seen how much they’ve given up their own happiness just to be able to give ours. And so, when I started working, I made it a point to save up to be able to treat my family.

I’ve already experience watching a movie in 3d and the very first time I did, all I was thinking about was how my family would love to watch a movie in this set-up. So instead of treating them out to dinner, I told my Mom, ”Ma, we’re going to watch Shrek Forever After in IMAX, MY TREAT!” At first, my parents were a bit hesitant and told me that I should just save up the money instead. I told them that I have enough savings for myself and I really save this money for them and that it would also serve as my Despedida (for the-not-so-clear-future). And with that reasoning, they gave in.

I cannot explain the happiness that I felt when I saw how happy my parents were and most especially, my siblings’ smiles are priceless!!! I felt fulfillment upon seeing their reaction and knowing that they had so much fun.

With this kind of experience, I know that I am on the right path to fulfilling that childhood dream of mine – of just simply making my family happy by putting them on top of my priority list! I hope and I pray that the 2nd part of this will soon happen!!!